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Chapter 1 - The Change in 4D Model

Published onFeb 28, 2019
Chapter 1 - The Change in 4D Model

70-90% of all change initiatives FAIL. Both personal AND organizational.

With all the research and discussion around change and change management – why are we so abysmal at it?

Why does it seem like we are doing MORE change initiatives and going nowhere?

I hypothesize that part of the challenge is that we are struggling with change in our personal lives.

Struggles at the personal scale translate to struggles at the organizational scale.

All the talk about “change” and “getting good at change” and “being agile” falls flat if we can’t do it for ourselves and if we don’t know what successful, directed change looks like on a personal level.

At the heart of all of change – personal and group – is the change journey.

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The Change Journey

The change journey is, fundamentally, a journey of loss and rebirth.

Within this journey, there is a grieving process.1 This process provides a framework for understanding the messy emotions we encounter as we navigate loss and transition.

Even when change is positive, we still go through variations of this process.

In 1999, John Fisher came up with what he calls the Personal Transition Curve or, in common parlance, the Fisher Change Curve. Knowing this change curve helps us navigate the grieving that change triggers while recognizing that there are both positive and negative outcomes as people move through the change process.2

Fisher recognized how we can be derailed from the change process. These derailments occur on the downward slope.

  • Denial: We try to stick our head in the sand and pretend the change doesn’t exist. We maintain the old practices and processes, even when they quit working. We ignore things that do not map to our belief systems. “Maybe if I lie low and keep doing my job, this will go away.”

  • Disillusionment: The realization that your values, beliefs and goals are incompatible with your environment and how that environment is changing. You deserve to be in a supportive environment. It may be worthwhile to walk away when you sense this disconnect. Many will find themselves “going through the motions” in the early stages.

  • Hostility / Depression: Fisher defines this as “the continued effort to validate social predictions that have already proved to be a failure.” The “dammit I’m gonna make this work even if it kills me!” reaction. We get stuck in doing things that just don’t work or add more work in a continued attempt to maintain older ways of doing things while dealing with the new. The best example of this I can think of is when an organization implements a new application and insists on re-configuring the tool to map to the old process instead of optimizing the process to better leverage the tool. Hostility is anger turned outward. Depression is anger turned inward.

There is often anger associated with moving through the transition curve. In the earlier stages we often aim this anger at others – especially when it seems like the change is being inflicted on us and we have limited control over the process. In later stages, the anger turns inward. “We become angry at ourselves for not knowing better and/or allowing the situation to escalate outside our control.”

Though this anger is not always present, it’s common enough that we ignore this emotion at our own peril. It is this anger, either externally or internally focused, that drives us through the guilt and depression stages of the change curve.3

The process is often unconscious.

Furthermore, Change is not an event or something we can do once and have it magically stick.

Even with temporary changes, there are lasting effects that often require longer-term practice and cultivation.

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The Change Journey in Execution

Most of us would love it if change was “one and done.” Change isn’t something that you can “graduate” from. As much as we wish it were otherwise, life (and change) doesn’t work like that.

Remember that change is a journey. And, whether we like it or not, part of that journey will be challenging.

Each of those challenges is a potential “out.”

At each point, we are being asked whether we

A) Want to do the work

B) Want to make the identity shift required.

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The Out of Denial

Denial is an early out. We look over the hill and decide whether we even want to make the journey.

In our planning, we see how much work needs to happen to make the change.

There are 3 potential responses when we hit this out:

1) I see the work that needs to happen and what I need to become - and I want no part of it.

2) I’m OK with what I see and will keep executing the plan.

3) I’m not sure what is going on. Maybe if I continue doing what I’ve been doing it will all be OK.

In the first response, seeing the work you need to do and the identity changes you need to make and realizing that it is not your path is a perfectly acceptable response.

You have a strong sense of identity and, after looking at the change, realize that the change is not in your best interest. This is a great reason to get off the change curve.

It’s an invitation to let go of the dream and focus on other activities that are more important to you and will move you closer to who you truly want to be.

You make this decision from a clear, stable center.

The second response is also consciously made. Your “why” is strong enough that you keep doing the work to make your change real.

The third response is NOT consciously made. In most circumstances, this happens when someone else is inflicting change on you. Maybe if you lie low, it will all go away.

A more insidious manifestation of this response is when you do all this planning, but you keep doing what you’ve been doing in hopes that you will reach your goal without having to behave differently, set new boundaries, or make different choices.

This looks like:

* Setting aside time to meditate in your calendar and never meditating.

* A week’s worth of meal planning and eating fast food.

* Purchasing a gym membership and never going.

* (name your favorite here)

Just because you have planned something doesn’t mean you are doing the work.

Remember – “Insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.”4

If you see yourself in “denial” as you make the change – try to identify what is making you uncomfortable.

Does it appear that the change would threaten a value you hold?

Are you not liking what you are being asked to do or who you need to become?

Is the reason why you are embarking on this change not strong enough to motivate you to do the work?

If you still want to pursue this change, consider recruiting a mentor or a guide. Someone who has been through this path before and can advise you as you work through the inevitable challenges and obstacles.

You want to make it through this first challenge mindfully.

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The Out of Disappointment

The second out happens as we execute our plan.

Things aren’t working the way we expected it to.

As with the Out of Denial there are 3 potential responses when we hit this out:

1) I now understand what I need to become to be successful - and I want no part of it.

2) I’m OK with what I need to become and will stay on the path.

3) I’m uncomfortable. My plan isn’t working the way I expected it to.

In the first response, as you do the work, you realize that identity changes you need to make to succeed at your change conflict with who you want to be. Sometimes, we don’t know this until we get into the work.

This is also a great reason to get off the change curve.

It’s another invitation to let go of the dream and focus on other activities that are more important to you and will move you closer to who you truly want to be.

Make this decision from a deep understanding of what your best self looks like.

The difference between seeing the change you need to make and realizing it pulls you away from being your best self and seeing the change as “too hard” may not be entirely clear.

The second path is to keep going.

You may have encountered a challenge.

I have found that challenges to goals tend to fall in the following categories.

- Resources – as in, I don’t have the right resources available, this cost more money than I expected, that sort of thing.

- Time – as in, I can’t seem to find the time to make this change or do the practice.

- Energy – I had a plan. It was a great plan. But I just didn’t have the energy to execute it. Maybe you got sick, or your kid got sick, or work got really busy. Then, during the time you set aside to practice your new habit, you just don’t have the energy.

- People – Even the most well-meaning supporters can make achieving our goals challenging. Ever try to start a diet, then have Mom make your favorite dish that, of course, isn’t on your diet plan? Belonging is a core human need and, in my experience, the need to belong is the thing that derails change – because your change challenges others.

This is an opportunity to adjust your plan. Find ways to overcome those challenges.

Tests litter the path to mastery. With each challenge you overcome, you become more confident in the change and move towards becoming the person you need to be for that change to stick.

This is a great time to begin recruiting supporters and mentors if you have not already done so.

The third path is subtle and attitudinal.

In my experience, I find that it occurs when I think the plan is “bulletproof.” Then I encounter a challenge that I did not anticipate. The change is harder to execute than I expected, and I question my ability to overcome the challenge.

This is a test of my “Why.” Is this change important enough to me to do what I need to do to overcome this challenge?

There are a few options to consider when you run into unexpected challenges:

1) Can you reduce the scope of your effort?

2) Can you extend the time?

3) Can you bring in new (or different) resources?

You may find that the challenges to your change effort are an issue of timing.

Your change effort may be mis-aligned with where you are in your life right now.

You may have encountered an environmental shift that impacts your change effort – such as losing a source of income or a new assignment at work.

You might discover that the change effort isn’t necessary – such as discovering you hate the crowds and running involved in marathons and finding that you prefer to get exercise through canoeing with a friend.

You may even realize that, as you work through the change, that you don’t like who you are becoming. Anger, stress, severe anxiety, lengthy isolation, and rapidly deteriorating relationships with people you want to keep in your circle are key indicators that something in the change might not be working.

Use challenges as an opportunity to ask questions, consciously decide whether to continue, and adjust your plan as needed.

Each challenge you encounter is a test of why you are doing this.

These challenges are part of the process.

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The Out of Despair

The Out of Despair is the most dangerous out.

Navigating this Out incorrectly leads to difficulties with future changes – not just the change you are currently making.

This is rock-bottom. The darkness before the dawn.

Depression and Anger are similar responses – even though they look very different.

At the core, it’s a belief that you can’t change.

Depression is internal – frustration turned in on oneself. Giving up.

Anger is external – frustration turned outward. Banging your head against the wall. Raging against the change.

This is the final test of your why.

With any big change – the question that pops up is “How badly do you want it?”

This is also why we need to set ourselves up for success. This period will stress-test your supports.

* Do you have mentors and guides? Are you leveraging their wisdom?

* Are you surrounded by cheerleaders?

* Is your environment providing a safe space to practice this change?

* Do you have access to the knowledge and skills you need to get through this?

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Making the Dip Shallower

One of the reasons why we go through all the work of planning and risk assessment is to make that dip shallower.

During planning we recruited mentors, determined who our cheerleaders are, identified the skills we need to succeed, marshalled our resources (material, financial, energetic), and mitigated as many risks as we could identify.

This is when we need to lean on and listen to our cheerleaders – and ignore the haters.

This is also when we need our coaches, therapists, guides and mentors the most. If you haven’t found mentoring and support before this point – NOW is the time to go find it.

The mentors and guides can tell you whether what you are experiencing is normal or if there is something going on that requires troubleshooting.

A good mentor or guide will help you through this “dark night.” They will provide encouragement based on their experience. They will lend a helping hand. They will identify potential adjustments to make your path smoother.

THIS is when all that planning and recruiting makes a difference.

The Out of Despair is the invitation to ask yourself “How badly do you want it?” What is YOUR why? Is it strong enough to work through this?

If we manage to get through all 3 outs, we will receive the reward of lasting change.

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The primary goal of this book is to help you make the dip shallower and help you navigate those outs.

We are going to achieve this through:

  1. Establishing Clarity around both what we want and where we currently stand.

  2. Developing Certainty around the steps we wish to take on the path between here and there.

  3. Creating a sense of Completion and Closure by defining the definition of “done” for our effort and for each activity. We will also develop of metrics and milestones that will help us see progress.

We will take 6 general steps as we go through this book. The first 4 steps help to develop clarity about what we are doing. The 5th step is planning – which helps to develop certainty. Finally, we execute our plan – which we complete either through successful execution or by mindfully abandoning the effort.

As our first step, I am going to ask you to do an inventory of your life as it stands. This serves 2 purposes:

- We know what we are working with.

- We can see options in our current environment that we can use that we can leverage towards our goals.

Clearly mapping where you are now with an unsparingly honest eye allows you to see opportunities for change, potential hazards, and areas that are working well.

My suspicion is that people don’t like taking inventory of themselves and their lives. They fear what they are going to uncover.

I invite you to look at what isn’t working (where our brain tends to go), what IS working, and what can be leveraged to help us move closer to our goals.

The process of evaluating and acknowledging what IS working and determining how we can take advantage of it is called Appreciative Inquiry.

Appreciative Inquiry is one of the most powerful tools in the toolkit for making the change dip shallower. We will talk about this tool further as we move through this process.

Our second step is to get clarity about your desired future.

You are going to start working from the highest perspective – your vision and values – then work your way down towards more detail.

I will then ask you to decide where you want to focus your change efforts for the immediate future.

After you decide what you want to focus on, the third step is to gain clarity around the impact of your desired change not just on yourself, but on others and on your environment.

This step is very important.

People will try to derail your change project. This includes well-meaning, supportive people.

You have people around you who see you in a certain way and love you for who they think you are.

I am going to introduce you to some tools that will help you develop strategies for the inevitable resistance.

Getting clear on your goals for this change and the reason why you are making this change is the fourth step.

The change journey challenges your reason for making this change.

“Change happens when the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same.”

Knowing and remembering why you are going through the process will get you through the dip.

During this step, you will define milestones that can serve as markers of progress on your path.

You will also define your “outs.” I am going to ask you to pre-determine scenarios when you should call it quits. Having these outs defined will help you evaluate whether you are just going through a rough patch or you need to pivot to another activity.

The fifth step asks you to create a plan for your change. This helps to develop certainty around what to do next.

Are you attempting to establish a new habit (permanent habit change)?

Are you training for an event (impermanent push change)?

Are you trying to make a major shift in your life that requires short-term effort and long-term maintenance (implementation change)?

I ask you to define your change, then walk you through the planning steps that will help you be successful in the long-term.

The sixth, and final, step is execution.

This is where we do the work of change. This is where we make the change real.

As we make the change real, and, in our planning, define our definition of “done,” we create a sense of completion and closure.

I will share with you what I have learned about execution in each type of change, help you troubleshoot common problems, and share how to maintain the change in the long-term.

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Change in 4-D

To gain clarity around where we are at and where we want to be, we need to look at change holistically.

I see change as having 4 dimensions:

  • Dimension 1 – I, or the self. How does the change impact me? What do I need to become and do to make my vision real?

  • Dimension 2 – Others, or other people. How does the change impact the other people in my life? What support and resistance am I likely to encounter from those close to me?

  • Dimension 3 – Environment, such as tools, systems, processes, materials, etc. How does the change impact the environment I am in? Does my current environment support this change? What changes can I make to the environment such that it supports the change? Do I need to seek out new environments?

  • Dimension 4 – Time. The change journey, whether we like it or not, requires time. What are my expectations for this change in the short-term and longer-term? How do I anticipate the other 3 dimensions (I, others, and the environment) evolving as I travel this change journey.

What makes planning so challenging is that we have a limited perspective of what is truly happening as we make changes in our lives.

It is much like trying to look at a 4D hypersphere in 3D and 2D. The level of complexity, as well as the level of accuracy, decreases as we move through the dimensions.

The picture below is one potential 2D representation of a 4D sphere.5 The artist is trying to accommodate north/south, east/west, up/down, and time. 6

A picture containing aircraft, transport, balloon Description automatically generated

A 4D sphere (the shape above) moving through 3D looks like an expanding and contracting sphere.

A picture containing pool ball Description automatically generated

Most of us live and work in 3D – our immediate environment.

Consider I the Up/Down vector. This is your perspective on and interpretation of your environment.

We can then define Others as North/South and Environment as East/West – even though in practical life others and environment are one big thing seemingly outside of ourselves.

As we change altitude on our environment and the number of Others we consider in that environment, our view looks much like a 3-D sphere moving through a 2-D environment. The environment and others looks like an expanding and contracting circle – with I in the middle.

It is much easier to focus on the people and environment we can readily see.

Accommodating a higher perspective on your environment is more complex. There are more variables. You are accounting for more people, systems, materials that may well be on the fringes, but could still have a major impact on your activities.

The 4th dimension is time.

Many people have an uncomfortable relationship with time. Myself, included.

We view what is happening now through the lens of the past or the future.

We predict what will happen based on future expectations that may or may not be accurate.

We focus on the “now” while ignoring the things in the “now” that we want to ignore.

We go through periods of expansion and contraction.

Sometimes, the expansion or contraction happens by choice. Often, it happens because it happens.

We go through seasons and periods of focus. Life throws us curveballs that strongly encourage us to change our priorities.

We develop plans to grow our business, then find ourselves dealing with a health crisis.

We decide to focus on our efforts on career growth, then our family demands our attention.

We spend time creating investment strategies, then receive a huge, unexpected bill.

We have options to deal with these challenges.

1) We can ignore the universal call-to-attention we are receiving and keep on our planned path.

2) We can mindfully pivot.

3) We can attempt to merge our desired goals with the call-to-attention.

None of these options are wrong. Some will require more struggle than others.

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We can only see what is immediately around us accurately.

The past we interpret through our specific lens.

The future we can only guess at, though we have probabilities. Our ability to estimate what is most likely going to happen is best the closer you are to now.

If our lives are very simple, we MIGHT be able to predict further down the road.

In 4D change, we are looking to work with what we have and, mindfully, make steps towards our vision.

At times, we need to do something radical.

Most of the time, we can work gradually and in small steps.

My goal for this model is to allow you to make the changes you wish to see in your life in a way that reduces stress.

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It might help to see life like the individual pictures in a movie film.

We have the current snapshot – where we are right now.

As we look at our current snapshot, we want to make sure we have the most accurate picture possible.

This includes the positives AND the negative.

Everything we want to see and all the things we don’t.

To create a holistic picture, we are going to ask ourselves a series of questions based on the 4 dimensions.

  • I - Who am I now? How does this show up in my world? What are my actions reflecting to others about my current state of being?

  • Others – Who surrounds me? What are they reflecting? What are their actions saying about the available support for the change I wish to make?

  • Environment (tools, systems, materials, processes, etc) – What surrounds me? What is currently available that I can leverage? What might hinder my progress?

  • Time – How do I expect this effort to evolve? How do I expect to evolve? How do I expect others to evolve? How do I expect the environment to evolve?

We then create snapshots along the way to help us move towards our longer-term target.

For these snapshots, we are going to move from very long term (old age and eulogy), to long term (3-10 years), to annual, to quarterly.

We want to create snapshots for each of these milestones – what do we want our life to look like at this snapshot?

The very long-term snapshot provides the guardrails for our decisions. Our “north star.”

The long-term snapshot provides a distant destination that we might not be able to see yet, but we sense we can get there.

The annual snapshot provides a vision of an achievable destination that with a little work and steady motion we can get to.

The quarterly snapshot provides a clear milepost for our efforts with just enough time to make progress but not so much time that we procrastinate.

Within the quarterly snapshot, we have weekly and daily goals.

The day-to-day will provide us feedback about how strong our “why” is, how accurate our assumptions are, whether we have selected an effective plan of action, and opportunities to move closer to our dreams.

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Our first step is to get a clear, reasonably accurate picture of our current state.

Grab some pens, sticky notes, a notebook, and some wall space. Let’s get started.

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